Advice for Women Who’ve Been Laughed At

  • A lesson in how to say ‘no’ that may or may not involve pizza
  • What to do about people who laugh at you
  • Knowing where you’d like to be is essential to getting there
  • The one word you should avoid and why

Years ago, I met a woman who had just moved to my town from Florida. She was pretty and cheerful, had a cute baby boy, and loved to teach community acting classes.

The thing I remember most from those days, was when she’d hug me goodbye, she’d say, “Make strong choices!” in that bold… (loud)… cheerful voice of hers.

It’s funny the things that stick with you.

Fast forward to last week. I’m talking to a man I work with. He asked me if I liked a certain idea. I said, “No.” 

Not loud.

Not unkind.

Just a simple, “No, that idea’s not for me.”

His response?

He giggled.

Surprised, I asked, “Why did you laugh?”

He said, “I’ve just never heard a woman sound as certain as you.”

Now *that* stood out.

Women who sound certain are so rare they inspire laughter.


(At this point in my story, I’d normally put on the good high heels and get up on my soapbox, but why really. Here… come sit on the soapbox with me while we chat.)

Soapbox moment commences…

If I had one amazing skill I could bestow on the women I influence, it would be the gift of certainty.

More than that… I’d give them the ability to say yes when they mean yes, and no when they mean no.

The pure pleasure of being able to clearly speak your mind has been the journey of the last 5 years for me.

If I take nothing else from the experience of owning my own business, it would be that.

If you want to give it a try, and you’re not accustomed to speaking your mind…, (I certainly wasn’t when I started… I was practically a poster child for anxiety)… just pretend you’re ordering a pizza.

Pizza guy: “Would you like extra cheese on that pizza?”

Me: “No.”

Pizza guy: “Sauce for the breadsticks?”

Me: “Sure.”

Pizza guy: “Anchovies?”

Me: “It’s almost as though you weren’t listening. No means no.”

Well, there you have it. I somehow managed to mash up my feminist soapbox moment with high heels and anchovy pizza.

All of that to say…

Your no may be the most powerful tool you have for good in this world.

Use it well.

Be warned, there are people who will giggle.

You can’t help that.

But if you care to, you can train the willing ones to stand by you, and even train their friends.

What does this have to do with marketing your business?

Tonight, I got an email from a woman who wanted help growing her business.

I asked her what business she was in.

Her reply: “I’m pretty open.”

If I was her coach, I’d tell her no, that isn’t the way to go.

How can someone help you, if you don’t have an idea of where you’d like to go?

And when you get there, how will you know where “here” is, if you haven’t seen it in your mind’s eye beforehand?


– No means no.

– If you feel like saying yes, say yes.

– People giggle. Don’t worry about them.

– Avoid saying sure. People interpret “sure” all kinds of crazy ways. Few of those ways benefit you.

What’s next: If you’d like to discover how a former 9th-grade Algebra teacher/SAHM helps multi-million-dollar businesses increase sales with simple “teach for action” techniques, then go to